If you fight for control of the remote control

Hi there Mystical Seekers. Here is a quasi-legal document that you may use when your spousal unit sulks and/or tries to take away the remote control when you are watching one of you favorite TV shows. Use of this document is at the user's discretion, and no warrantee is implied. All rights reserved. Copyright (c) 2006 Mystical Marjie, aka Chakra Cannes, Suburban Shaman.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

Let it be known hereby that the party of the first party (the complainant) is using this document to convey emotion, logic, fact and humor:

Whereas: There are a limited number of TV entertainments that are of interest to the complainant, these being What Not to Wear, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and House, with the complainant's interest in Desperate Housewives currently waning;

Whereas: None of these are available on daytime television, even if the complainant were to be in the domicile during the daytime and have a ready supply of bon-bons;

Whereas: The only time these entertainments are aired include and are limited to Fridays from 8 to 10 pm, Sunday at 7 pm, and Tuesday at 9 pm;

Whereas: The party of the second part (the "complainee") watches ESPN Sports Desk, and Comedy Central on a daily basis, and multiple sporting events all weekend and some weeknights, and the all-new 24! on Monday nights; and engages in random acts of "Idiot's Touring" up and down 300+ cable channels;

Whereas: The complainee somehow thinks this entitles him to either a) ridicule the taste of, and/or pre-empt the watching of favorite shows by the complanaint;

Whereas: The complainant has regularly sublimated her wishes and desires to the greater good of maintaining harmony in the family, but does not feel that this obligates her to do so in every instance;

Wheras: The entry into the viewing room and snatching of the TV remote (hereafter known as "the remote control device ") while someone is watching and/or about to begin one of their favorite shows could and will be construed as an act of aggression, callous disregard for, and/or lack of respect for the complainant;

Let it be RESOLVED that: Both complainant and complainee shall BOTH take care in nurturing each other's wishes and desires around, among other things, watching their favorite TV shows;

AND that: If one party wishes to gain control of the remote control they shall make a polite request to the other party, even if they have just regained consciousness after a nap;

AND that: The other party may consider the request for control of the remote control, but is under no obligation to relinquish control of said device if watching one of their favorite TV entertainments;

AND that: Just because the complainee is not in the domicile during daylight hours during weekdays this does not automatically confer preferential status in regard to watching the television.

Signed, the undersigned complainant.